Podcast Transcription

Intro: Welcome to “Flippin’ Off” a purpose-driven podcast about flipping houses and making a difference. We were just talking about changing the…

David: We need a new bumper and… Yeah. We wanna change that. It’s a new life.

Melina: It’s a new life.

David: What’s up, everybody? Good morning. Good afternoon.

Melina: Good evening.

David: Good evening.

Melina: Good day.

David: Good night. Good day. David Boswell and Melina Boswell joining in today. We finally have mom back in the house.

Melina: Is everybody clapping?

David: Yep. That’s applause.

Melina: Yeah.

David: Shoot. Mom’s been gone for… How long has it been? She went on a… What’s a good way to describe? I wanna say like self-realization, but I don’t know if that’s the right word. It’s like a… What would you call that experience?

Melina: Well, what I would call it is definitely, yeah, some self-reflection, internal, maybe grounding. Right? And I kind of…

David: For sure.

Melina: I kind of make jokes about it. So, I walked 801 miles in 54 days.

David: Yeah. That’s insane. That’s actually insane. And the walk is the El Camino Real?

Melina: El Camino Real.

David: So, what exactly… How did it start? Who walked it? What…

Melina: So, it was the California mission walkers. And actually, I think… And I haven’t… It’s a funny thing. I don’t ever listen to my own podcast. Do you? Do you ever listen to your own?

David: Never.

Melina: Never. Yeah, you’re so my son. It’s a weird thing to… I hate listening to myself. I’m like, “Who cares? Who wants to even hear anything I have to say?” I don’t wanna hear myself.

David: I honestly feel like that.

Melina: You do.

David: That’s how I feel all the time. But then I went onto YouTube, like, a week ago and I found myself stuck and I watched the entire episode of when we did with… What is the lady’s name? I feel like an ass for forgetting her name. I know. I should…

Melina: Diane.

David: Diane. I should have walked into this one.

Melina: See. We’re so scripted.

David: Yeah. Diane. But I… I don’t know. I’ve been in kind of… It’s been blurry every… The whole past couple of years have been a little blurry, so when I found the video I started watching and I got into it. I thought it was good.

Melina: Yeah. How about that? We don’t suck.

David: No, we don’t suck. That’s what I thought. You don’t totally suck.

Melina: You don’t totally suck. Awesome.

David: So, anyway, the California mission walkers.

Melina: Right.

David: So, there were pilgrims, right? It was like a pilgrim walk.

Melina: Yeah. It’s a pilgrimage. Yeah. So, bottom line, I wanted to… I was gonna… I knew a few things about myself. I was looking for something…

David: Okay. Hold on, though. So, what is the walk?

Melina: What is the walk? So, it is actually walking all 21 California missions.

David: What are the missions?

Melina: The missions are… They are actual missions that were planted by the Catholic Church. Actually, it was started by Junipero Serra, and then they were an interesting thing. They are all up and down California. So, you’ll see along the coast, you’ll see mission bells. And they were created really with the intention of colonizing. That’s really what they were about. And they did it under the guise of religion. So, they proselytized to the indigenous people. So, we were occupied by Spain at that time. And Russia was actually looking at the coast of California, the California coast. And if you think about it now, I mean, the California coast is, I mean, aside from the beauty that we have unbelievably rich soil, so much…

David: Produce.

Melina: Oh, yeah. Are you kidding? And so when the Russians came over and started looking at the terrain, the Spaniards got super smart and said, “Oh, you know what we’re gonna do? We’re gonna build missions.” And missions provide sanctuary, religious sanctuary. So, they began to colonize and they recruited the indigenous people and converted them to Catholicism. That’s really what it was. And so, you know, there’s a million different perspectives. Well, there’s two probably strong perspectives of how that happened just like I think there is with everything else in life. And I think it’s interesting to me in the climate that we’re living in right now, politically speaking, right? The country is so divided. I mean, also let me say this. The country is so divided according to the regular… That’s what everybody’s telling us. The country is so divided. The country is so divided. And my experience is that it’s not necessarily…we’re not that divided.

David: Yeah.

Melina: So, there’s this narrative out there that people buy into. And some of the things that concern me is that we don’t embrace what our history was. So, the mission building was, do I believe that Father Serra had the right intentions when he decided to build the missions and proselytize and convert people to Catholicism? I absolutely believe he had the right intentions. Did he go about it in all the perfect ways? Obviously not because he has a belly button, and anybody that has a belly button…

David: Yeah, like everybody.

Melina: Yeah. They screw up. So, you have some people on the side of, “Man, the poor indigenous people, they were forced to convert their religious beliefs to Catholicism in order to survive,” which may be true. Then you have the other people say, some indigenous people could say, “Thank God for father Serra because they converted us to the truth. He taught us, you know, the right ways to live. They taught us…” So, it just depends. It’s all perspective. And all of it is true. And it hurts my heart to imagine I think the worst thing we can do is erase even the ugly because there was ugly. I think if we don’t, then, you know…

David: You can’t learn from it either.

Melina: Absolutely. So, part of the pilgrimage is, you know, I walked from mission to mission. So, I started in San Diego and walked all the way up the coast in some inland to every single 21 missions up to Sonoma, which, ironically, I’m born and raised in California. I’ve never been to Sonoma.

David: Yeah. Me neither.

Melina: I know. It’s because you’re my kids, so if I’ve never been… Never been there, never been to Napa. So weird. And actually, there was parts of California, literally, I felt like a total, like, jerk because I…

David: Yeah. Don’t know your own place.

Melina: Yeah. I was like, “Oh, my gosh. Am I really still in California?” because I felt like I was in midtown Ohio.

David: Yeah, it did look like it up there.

Melina: Yeah. It was incredible. Just beautiful. There’s so much beauty in California.

David: Small and country and…

Melina: Yeah. Like where everybody knows your name for real. Those small-town USA absolutely is in…especially in Central California. Salinas Valley, all of that.

David: It was beautiful.

Melina: Yeah, it was super beautiful. Lots of farmland. Like I walked through the salad bowl. That’s an actual place.

David: What’s that?

Melina: Do you know that? It’s a salad bowl. Yeah. It is like you’re walking through kale and… You know the spring mix?

David: Yeah.

Melina: You’re walking literally through the spring mix. That’s a place. All that greenery, it’s all there.

David: That’s awesome.

Melina: It’s yeah, really, really incredible. And smelling celery, smelling like, “Oh, that’s kale. Oh, that is spinach. That is…” Really.

David: So, what was the purpose when you decided… I know you were talking about possibly doing the walk in Spain, something you wanted to do.

Melina: Yeah, I wanted to do it. I wanted to have a pilgrim experience and I wanted to push myself physically. And so when I couldn’t go to Spain because of COVID, I started googling pilgrim walks in America, and that’s how I found this walk. And I think I shared this in the last podcast which was that, you know, a lady posted on… When I googled, I landed on a website of a nonprofit called californiamissionwalkers.org. That’s what they are. They’re an organization and nonprofit. They then, you know, directed me to this Facebook page, I get on this Facebook page, and I start looking, and two ladies post, “Hey, we’re gonna walk all the missions and we’re gonna start in San Diego. And so anybody who wants to join us come and join us.” And so that was my… That was my intention. I decided, “Oh, I’m gonna do that.” My original plan as I was reading through and understanding the missions, you know, the missions weren’t. They weren’t built straight up the coast. So, in other words, you don’t start in San Diego. And then the second one built was San Louis Ray, and then it was San Juan Capistrano. That’s not the way it was. They were built randomly. But the walk is a continuous walk from mission to mission, so San Diego to Sonoma, right? So, I thought, “I’m gonna start from Sonoma and walk down to San Diego.” And I thought I would do it sometime in November and December because in my mind I was thinking about weather, colder and then still warm down in Southern California, but these ladies were doing it different, so I thought, “I’ll hop in and do one leg with them.” So, maybe walk one mission and that would take about a week. And so I don’t know. By day three… Well, first of all, day one, I pulled a hamstring.

David: Day one.

Melina: Day one, I pulled a hamstring.

David: Yeah. Just getting broken.

Melina: I think I sent you pictures. I sent pictures to my family of… So, yeah. But by, I don’t know, the second or third day one of the girls there that I was walking with, Kim, says to me, “You have to finish this with me. You have to walk all the way.” And the one thing that I don’t ever back down to is a challenge. Competitive much? Yes, absolutely, I am. And so what I learned is that there’s only been five people ever that have walked from San Diego to Sonoma, only five people, and, of course, three of them were men. And so I thought, “Well, I’m gonna be in the top 10. I’m gonna be in the first 10 that do this and I’m gonna be… And I’m a woman and I’m gonna walk with two other women.” And so that was kind of the goal that was set in front of me, a challenge, I guess. And I knew that I wanted… I needed to have… In order to have, like, an emotional or mental breakdown, I had to physically be broken. And I actually said that, which I wanna, like, take it back, take it back because I ended up pulling a hamstring day one. I didn’t really feel it. I mean, I felt it when it happened, but by day two, and it was like 584 degrees outside too. So, it was super hot.

David: It was hot. Yeah. When you started it was hot.

Melina: Yeah, September, it was, like, blazing hot. And California was on fire.

David: Yeah, that’s right. Smoking.

Melina: Yeah. And literally… Yeah. When I made the decision I was gonna do it, I kind of told you guys, “I think I’m gonna finish this,” and you guys were like, “Okay, cool.” And then the injury. And so I literally had to walk with sticks. I had to use walking sticks. And I was using walking sticks like crutches. You don’t know that probably.

David: No.

Melina: But I was actually using walking sticks like they were crutches because I was in so much pain, so I wouldn’t… You know what I mean? I would lift it and then I would lift myself.

David: That’s brutal.

Melina: And, yeah. So, it was an average of 15 miles per day. So, some days it was, like, we didn’t take… We took one day off in the entire 54 days. A day off would be, there was, like, three days in a row where we said we were super tired and super in lots of pain, injuries. And we said we’re gonna take three days and walk only eight miles for three days. And that was like… That was a day off for us. But there was days we did 20 miles, 22. The longest day was 26, almost 27 miles.

David: Yeah, that’s a long time. That’s a long walk.

Melina: It was a long walk. Yeah. So, it was hard. It was painful. It was…

David: What was the hardest part do you think? Was there a point you felt like you were gonna quit?

Melina: Yeah. There was several times. And it was usually… It was like the last two miles. So, maybe I’d be at mile 15 and I knew we were walking. We’d be at 17 miles for the day. And that was our intention. And we literally walked hotel to hotel. Right? And then from hotel to mission.

David: The mission.

Melina: And so it was usually like the last couple of miles where my feet hurt so bad. Blisters were out of control. My legs hurt. My… everything hurt and I just really wanted to quit. And there was times when I would literally say, “Just keep walking. One more step. One more step. One more… Just do this one more.” And then I started giving myself permission. I started saying things like, “You know what? If you get home, you get to the hotel tonight and you decide you’re done, you can be done. Grace. I’m gonna give myself grace. And if I wake up tomorrow morning and I just don’t wanna do it, then I’m not gonna do it.” And I think that kind of mental conversation, then I would always wake up in the morning and the truth is, I would wake up in the morning and I would be in so much pain. You should have seen me. You probably would have cried if you saw me because I looked like my dad.

David: You couldn’t really walk.

Melina: Couldn’t walk. Yeah. I mean, I would literally roll out of bed and it would take me a minute. I would step my feet down and I would shuffle like little tiny steps like my dad does because the pain was so intense. And I would… Yeah, it was bad. I mean, it was bad. Super bad. Hard. Hard. And blisters.

David: Bad.

Melina: Yeah. And my ankles… Like, my feet still aren’t the same.

David: Grew, right?

Melina: They did. They grew a whole half a size.

David: And width.

Melina: Yeah. Which absolutely sucks. And my vanity is still intact, though, so that’s good because there was a couple of times where I was like, “Oh, hell no. I’m not going to have my feet looking ugly. I have cute feet. I need to keep my feet looking cute.” It’s true, right?

David: Yeah.

Melina: Yeah. So, I got two pedicures.

David: While you were walking?

Melina: Yes. Yeah, when I’d be at places. Yeah, it was very strategic. Like, I got to get my feet taken care of. Absolutely.

David: Sure.

Melina: And I kept them… I stopped often to take care of my feet. Change socks. There is days when especially in the heat of the day, like, in the Salinas Valley where, you know, we would stop, I would go through four pair of socks in a day to keep my feet healthy because, you know, without healthy feet, everything just falls apart. So, yeah.

David: We were saying kind of that, you know, you went on the walk and then you realized you still had to come back. So, is that… How do you… Do you feel like you got what you needed to out of it? Is there still more? Do you need to keep going or do you feel refreshed like you can start again?

Melina: Yeah, I do. I think it’s super interesting because, you know, it was like I came home and I was like, “What the hell? Everybody is still here? All my stuff is here?” I don’t feel like… I’m not a different person. And all my pain, all my grief, all my caca it’s all still here.

David: Right.

Melina: It’s still here. And so that’s the ugly truth, right? That’s sort of… I don’t if it’s ugly. It’s just perfect, I suppose. But maybe I had some idea that I was gonna be changed and I was gonna be different and maybe I would transcend. And there was some absolute changes that happened, you know, from the beginning, like, being injured. And I walked with those crutches for probably 10 days, and then I finally… Maybe after 12 or 13 days, I was able to ditch the crutches, and then I never used walking sticks again unless I needed to use it as a weapon for protection, which I did. I was thinking about that yesterday. I was talking to a friend and I realized, I think there was four different times I had to pull out Kim’s walking stick which is a taser.

David: What?

Melina: Yeah. I don’t think you even know that.

David: Pull them out for what?

Melina: For, like, to be… Yeah, for protection, for, like, defense.

David: What happened?

Melina: So, I think the first time… Well, the first time I grabbed the stick was we were… David’s face. I wish you guys could see David’s face right now. I don’t know if I wanna tell him. Anyway, so, here’s what happened. I was at… We were walking and we were in kind of a crappy area of town, like, kind of in, like a downtown area. Probably not the safest. And we came walking through and there was these two guys. And they were… You could tell they were like… It was like… There was drug dealing and stuff going on and as we were walking through, so I was like, “Let’s…” It was just me and Kathy, actually. So, I was like, “Let’s go. Let’s go.” And so I saw one guy looking at us, and so I buckled up my backpack. And by the way, I’m carrying everything I own on my back, right? So, I’m wearing my backpack with all my clothing, like, everything, my toiletries, everything is on my back, right? So, I’m carrying, like, a 20-pound back. So, I buckled up. And Kathy was actually in front of me. And she had her walking sticks. And so I grabbed her stick and I said let me just have it. And he whistled. I actually watched him look across the street and then I heard him whistle and I watched his eyes, which forced me to then look across the street and I saw another guy and then I saw him whistle and then there was a guy like up here. So, at some point, I realized I’m in the middle of this, like, triangle, right?

David: Yeah.

Melina: So, I grabbed Kathy’s stick and I looked at him right in his eyes and I turned around, looked at the other guy, like, right in his eyes, like, I see you. So, I pulled my phone out and I just kind of gave them this look, like, and I looked at Kathy and I said, “Get in front of me. Walk faster.” She had no idea what was going on. So, I grabbed her stick and I just made sure. So, I took my phone out, kind of like to say, I’ve got my phone and I’ll do whatever I need to do and I had the stick and made eye contact. And they probably followed us for, like, maybe four minutes, even that which seems like an eternity.

David: Yeah.

Melina: But that was it.

David: They just walked behind you.

Melina: They just… Yep. Just walked, kind of following. And I just made sure I kept on making eye-contact, I, like, let them know, I see every single one of you. And when I did then they just kind of fell off to the side. And then the second time was we were on… We were in Salina… I think it was in S… We were near Bradley, California, which is in Central California. We were on this long road called Jolon Road, which is near Hunter Liggett, Fort Hunter Liggett, right? So, it was just out in the middle of freaking nowhere.

David: Yeah.

Melina: And so some guy we watched him come by and he was super… He was slow. It was just me and Kim walking and it was hot. And he came toward us and he was slow, and then…

David: Walking?

Melina: No, he was driving. And we kind of watched him and then, I don’t know, maybe five minutes later he came back. When he came back by we both instantly, like, our spidey-sense went up and so I grabbed her stick and then we watched him. And then he came back a third time. So, when he came back the third time we called one of the gentlemen that was part of the Facebook group actually was supporting us through this area. He was camping somewhere else but he was there to kind of support us because it was, you know, out in the middle of nowhere. So, we called him on the phone and we just said, “Hey, this guy has come by three times and…” But we never saw the guy again. So, I was okay. So, that was a second time I took the stick out. And then the third time it was when we came up on a bunch of vultures. Yeah.

David: Like actual birds?

Melina: Oh, yeah. Okay. So, roadkill. I don’t know how to tell you about roadkill. I saw so much roadkill. Like, every wild boar. Yeah. But we… And vultures we would see but this was unique because there was… This was a brand new kill, like, it was a doe and she was bloody.

David: Oh, wow.

Melina: Bloody. There was blood everywhere.

David: Jeez.

Melina: And so looking around what I didn’t know that we weren’t on a road because, usually, it was always that we would see carcasses that got obviously hit by vehicles because we’re kind of walking on the road. Well, this had a huge fence. So, there was no way that a car hit this doe. So, then the question was, right, how did this doe die? That was, like, the biggest… And of course, Andrew is telling me, “You gotta watch this video of this wild cat that comes…”

David: Yeah. Oh, yeah. That freaking, the mountain lion…

Melina: You know what I’m talking…

David: …chasing at that deer.

Melina: Yeah, exactly. So, thankfully, Andrew was with me that was because Andrew walked a few days with me, the last, actually, one week Andrew walked with me. So, Andrew went way up ahead and he had the same… So, he… That was creepy, because we were looking around going, “Well, I wonder what killed that doe.”

David: That’s weird.

Melina: Yeah, that was pretty wild.

David: That’s not too big of a deal.

Melina: No, none of them were that big of a deal honestly.

David: Sounds about right.

Melina: Yeah. Not that big of a deal.

Christian: Hi, this is Christian Rios. As many of you know, I have been a member of New Wealth Advisors Club for over seven years and got started when I was 17 years old with absolutely no real estate experience. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from being in the industry is the need for authentic relationships. If you’re looking for an actual team locally in Southern California with all the resources needed to close deals, register for one of our free workshops by visiting www.joinnwac.com. Thanks for listening to the Flippin’ Off’ podcast.

David: So…

Melina: So, what was the most difficult?

David: Yeah. Did you think you were gonna quit ever, like, actual… Did you ever really contemplate quitting?

Melina: No.

David: That’s good.

Melina: No.

David: That’s good.

Melina: No. I just don’t quit. Kim’s husband flew up a couple of… So, we had different people fly in or walk or drive in to meet us at different times and walk certain legs with us, right? They would maybe walk a day. Jasmine, for example, she came. Every single week she drove. So, the first time my first week she drove to San Diego and walked with me. Yeah. And then so she walked with me. Like, her goal was to walk with me every week once a week with me and Kim, and she did. And she… As we were talking to different people she couldn’t believe. I think it was the second week. She said, “I can’t believe how much better you’re walking.” And I was like, “I didn’t even think about that.” So, Kim’s husband, Tom, came up, and after he walked with us for a few days, Kim asked him, “So, do you think that we’re gonna finish this?” And he said, “I think the only thing that will stop the two of you is an injury or a fire, like, a real injury.”

David: Yeah, for sure. That’s awesome.

Melina: Yeah. And that’s kind of that was both of our mindset. I met this person, Kim. There was four of us that started this walk and Kim and I are the two that finished. And we were two completely different people, but yet unbelievably kindred in our spirits, you know, strangers. Starting out as strangers on September the 12th and by November the 3rd, we were… Well, you were there, we walked to the last mile holding hands and sobbing our eyes out. It was pretty incredible. So, I think that it would have taken a very serious injury, like, something… One of us would have had to break something.

David: Yeah. Like, not be able to physically walk.

Melina: Like, literally not be able to do it. But we both had injuries. I had my hamstring and Kim had the top of her foot was injured, probably fractured.

David: Jeez. It’s crazy.

Melina: Yeah.

David: It’s hard on the body just walking consistently. Like, that’s really tough on the body.

Melina: It was very, very hard.

David: And definitely challenging.

Melina: Yeah. I think when people would say that to me, “That sounds like so much fun,” I was like, “Really? It sounds like fun?”

David: Christian coming with the ball, bouncing the ball around mile 1 and mile 12.

Melina: Christian brought a ball. That was so fun.

David: Can I get an Uber? Is Uber here?

Melina: Yeah. They were gonna come walk again. Never did.

David: Shocker. It’s one and done. Got it fixed.

Melina: Yeah. Yeah. That was actually the day I think that I… That was my birthday. So, Kevin, Christian, and Jasmine all came and walked with me on my birthday. And they drove up to Simi Valley. I was up in Simi Valley by that time. It’s kind of crazy when you realize, you know, how far you walk, like, I actually walked here, you know. Really bizarre. And when Andrew drove me home, I asked him, “Hey, can we go home on the 101 because I really wanna be able to see where I walked. And it was mind-blowing, like, just mind-blowing.

David: Yeah. It didn’t take too much long on 101, driving?

Melina: Right. No, probably 30 minutes added to the drive, but it was worth it for me just to be able to see…

David: Yeah, I bet.

Melina: …all the places that I walked and what that was actually like.

David: It’s crazy.

Melina: Yeah. So, I don’t know. Did I get what I wanted? Yesterday, I had this feeling of… Like, what popped up in my head was I’m thinking about things that people have said to me, right? Like, right when dad died, ginormous trauma. And people in their, you know, own way of encouraging me of loving me, right, was saying things to me like, “There’s… God gives beauty for ashes. There’s something beautiful on the other side of this. Wait until you get, you know, the other side. It’s gonna be beautiful.” And I literally was driving yesterday and I said out loud, “Am I on the frigging other side? Am I there? What does the other side look like?’ And it’s almost as if there was this false hope or almost like this target that I thought I was going to arrive at, but it doesn’t frigging exist. And actually, it doesn’t exist. Like, yeah, you’re on the other side. You were on the other side on March 15th.

David: Yeah. Actually, yeah.

Melina: Isn’t that right?

David: Yeah. It’s all… Life is really just a big bundle of seasons. It’s like where are you right now?

Melina: Yeah. I was having a conversation with Amir last night and, you know, he’s been in a bad way. I’m just gonna be honest. He’s been hiding from me. Actually, hiding from me. It’s just hilarious. Kind of like you. And he finally showed up. And don’t give me that ugly look.

David: Shut up.

Melina: And he’s like… And I just told him like, “I’m just as jacked up as you are. Do you think I’m not jacked up? I’m totally jacked up.” And, like, I’m a little wacky. I know that. We all are.

David: Yeah. Yeah. It’s true. It’s true. Would you… You wanna do it again or something like that again?

Melina: Yeah, of course. Yeah. I am… A couple of things I’ve thought about. Some things I got super clear about myself is that… And I swear I’ve said this before, and I feel like God might be going, “Yeah, okay. We can take another lap. You need another lap? Go ahead, take another lap.” And I’m like, “I don’t wanna take another stupid lap.” But…

David: There’s something about, like, doing those things you don’t want to do that you think you know you should. And just the reward that you get after it and the feeling that you get, that energy.

Melina: Yeah.

David: It’s healing and it’s… I think that’s the kind of thing that you need to be able to push forward, like, what I and Spoon we were talking about yesterday, like, little things to look forward to, little things to press toward. I think there’s something very powerful in sacrifice, you know, when you sacrifice what you want for an outcome, you know, like, what you want. You sacrifice your comfort and what you want in that moment for an actual…you know, an outcome. It always pays off, I think. It’s like anything. It’s like lifting weights. When you sacrifice your time and your energy, comfort for…

Melina: Yeah. I think I did a video. Yeah. And I think it was, like, right at the halfway mark or just over halfway. And I swear, it took me that long to finally go, “Just give up being comfortable. Give it up.”

David: Be okay with being uncomfortable.

Melina: Totally.

David: Like, embrace that.

Melina: Embrace the uncomfortability.

David: You can’t grow otherwise. You really can’t. You’ll stay stuck.

Melina: Well, actually, yeah. Yeah. It’s like being in the ocean and trying to fight against the waves in the ocean. It’s just a waste of time. What you’re doing is a waste of your energy. You are not going to win. So, what happens when you just…

David: You submit.

Melina: …like, that’s what you’re supposed to do. You just submit to the process…

David: And go with it. Go with it.

Melina: …and then all of a sudden you’re up on top of the water.

David: Yeah.

Melina: Totally fine.

David: Riding the wave.

Melina: Right. Isn’t that interesting?

David: Yeah. It’s so much… Life is so much about… It’s about waves. That’s why I have this damn thing on my arm to remind me that it is constantly up and down and to just go with the flow.

Melina: Yeah. Do you think, like… I think about things like I thought a lot about this, like, the box. Right? And I think, you know, we’ve had this conversation personally about even how I raised you, right? And what I believed was, you know, the box that I was introduced to, right, is… My parents raised me with, like, no box. My parents were super…

David: Whatever.

Melina: Whatever, you know, and a lot of raising of myself and, you know, whatever. And then, you know, I was introduced to this beautiful, shiny, clean, and neat box. And I’m just gonna call it… I hate to say this. But I’m just gonna call it, you know, evangelical Christianity. That’s the truth.

David: Yeah.

Melina: That’s the truth. Right? And so, for me not having any kind of structure, you know, growing up I saw this as, “Exactly. This is like so…” And I’m a good rule follower. Give me the rules, I check all the boxes. Yeah, I’m there. I’m a doer. I make my bed every morning, period. Right? So, I’m a rule follower. Give me that and I’m like, “Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Check that box. Check that box.” And that is what I did. And this season in my life now I’m realizing that box is… First of all, it is offensive to put God in that box. It is not the truth. And even to think for a minute that God is contained inside the book of the Bible is offensive. And I think, you know, what I’m realizing now and not that I don’t… And by the way, I love Jesus. I love God. Like, that’s… I’m not saying anything like that. What I’m saying is I’ve come to the realization that God is so much bigger outside than what’s in the Bible because I’ve experienced such trauma in my life and such pain in my life that I now know that He’s much bigger than that. He is so much bigger than we even think. He is so much more powerful, so much more present, so much, like, smarter.

David: Yeah. I think that’s why they’re basic instructions.

Melina: Yeah.

David: I mean, that’s how I feel like.

Melina: Yeah. It is basic instructions. And that’s pretty much it. But that isn’t the end-all, but…

David: That’s not it.

Melina: No. But I raised you that way.

David: Yeah.

Melina: And now what’s happening is, like, that box that I painted and raised you in, now, suddenly, I’m living way outside the box and you’re looking at me going like, “Who the F are you?” Right? And then now there’s this new weird season where we’re trying to navigate that. And I’m saying, “No, my faith is stronger than ever. I feel closer to God than I ever have.” And also I can say things to God like, “Not now. I’m kind of pissed at you.” Like, you know. And I’ve never, never have I ever felt like that. Even in some of the deepest trauma I’ve never questioned him like, “Well, why this?” Never. Even, like, when dad died, you know, the first, I think, you know, real loss that I experienced in my life, I never felt angry at God, I never felt like I questioned him or question like, “What are you doing?” But I’ll be honest. Now I’m like, “What the heck, man?”

David: Yeah. Yeah, that’s the thing for every person, like, we all experienced trauma. We all want… We all have goals in this life we want. We all wanna make money. We wanna do real estate. We wanna, you know, be successful and have a nice family and not be lonely, have nice things.

Melina: Belong.

David: Belong to something, someone. We don’t realize that we all have those goals, but then you just get your legs chopped off out from underneath you and bad things happen to really good people. And in fact, bad things happen to everybody.

Melina: Yeah.

David: And then life is so much about what, at least for us, like…

Melina: What happens to us? It’s basic.

David: Yeah. I guess that’s probably true, but I don’t know. I’m sure, you know, bad… I know bad stuff happens to a lot of people and there’s people that…

Melina: A thousand percent.

David: Yeah. I can hear some people’s stories and be like, “What? Nothing has happened to me.” So, it’s really just about kind of pivoting. I think life is so much about pivoting and going with that flow.

Melina: Riding that wave.

David: Riding the wave.

Melina: Yeah. Without guilt.

David: Yeah. Yeah. Just taking each season.

Melina: Yeah. It’s crazy, isn’t it?

David: Mm-hmm.

Melina: I think part of me wanting to do this walk is being like looking for… I think what I was asking for was a spiritual breakthrough. So, really, if I’m honest, what I was saying is, “Hey, God, could you like fix some shit for me, please, because the stuff is jacked up? So, could you fix it?” Maybe that’s what I was really saying. It’s kind of embarrassing to admit, but I think that’s the truth. And if I go out there, it’s just gonna be me and you and… I always do this with him. That’s why I said. He’s like, “Okay. Another lap. Okay. Go ahead. Fine.” And right now I’m like, I’m hold please. Just stay back over there for now because I’m maybe not hearing him or it’s just the same song being repeated in my head and I just gotta be like, “Oh.” So, it turns out the way I’m wired and the way he created me is to lead people and to create stuff. I build stuff. I build businesses. I build people. That’s what I do. And no matter where I go, that’s what I do. So, I was… For 12 days on my walk I was super quiet and I was walking in the back quiet, not saying anything, you know, just, like, literally one step at a time. Also, I was injured, so that forced me to shut up because I had to work through a lot of pain. And then at some point, it was like, if I don’t lead, things are gonna fall apart. So, somebody has to lead and somebody just has to naturally take the lead and do the hard stuff and say the hard things. And it’s not always popular.

David: On the walk, you’re saying?

Melina: Uh-huh.

David: Interesting.

Melina: Yeah. Yeah.

David: Funny how that kind of translates to life as well.

Melina: Entirely. That’s what I mean. I’m looking for some breakthrough, and then that’s what ends up happening. I show up to be exactly who I am.

David: Yeah. Just brings you back to your perspective, your normal true perspective.

Melina: That’s what I’m saying.

David: It’s all it’s really about, right?

Melina: It is.

David: Getting back to that, you know, because you get clouded. When things happen to you, that’s what I was gonna say before is, you get so clouded up. As kids, I remember as a kid, it was so much more clear, you know, and the older I get and the more bad things happen and the more events unfold in front of. Your perspective on life and how it should be just starts to change, you get callous, and you get tired and depressed, and you’re like all of the things in life hit you and you get to a point where you’re just, you know, you can become despondent. So, I think it’s necessary to do things like you’re talking about, like, this crazy walk or pushing yourself to different limits or talking to somebody in a bus that you never would. Whatever it is. Get out of your freaking comfort zone and do something different and wake yourself up. Wake up. Right? I don’t know. That’s what I hear. Right?

Melina: Entirely.

David: Yeah.

Melina: I mean, yeah, it’s super easy to get… Really, if you think about it, what that is, is you’re just… Yeah. You’re allowing yourself to be victimized.

David: Exactly.

Melina: You become a victim of your circumstances.

David: Right.

Melina: That’s not who you are. That’s not how you were raised.

David: Mm-mm.

Melina: That’s not what we do.

David: No. No, absolutely not.

Melina: But you do have to do something completely absurd.

David: Yeah, you do. You do. Sometimes you do. Otherwise, you really can just get stuck in that fog. Sometimes it takes a shock and all.

Melina: Yeah. And you can’t get out of it.

David: Yeah.

Melina: Well, you can, but you don’t know how.

David: Yeah.

Melina: Yeah. That’s the danger, I think, with people and even with myself. And I think that maybe the older you get and, like, maybe even more intense the… You said you get your knees busted open. Even the more intense the trauma becomes, then, you know, you have to do more ridiculous things like walking 100 miles in 54 days, because why not?

David: Yeah. Well, it has a lot to do with loss, I think, too. When you lose people in your life and then all of a sudden reality changes in front of you and mortality becomes… It looks entirely different and you realize, like, “I’m gonna die one day. What am I doing here?”

Melina: Oh, yeah.

David: You know that…

Melina: A big question.

David: Yeah. Like, people, their biggest regret on their deathbed is what they didn’t do, like, all the shit they didn’t do.

Melina: Exactly.

David: But when are you gonna do it? When are you gonna do it?

Melina: Right.

David: You don’t know how much time you have. You always hear that you don’t really know how much time you have, but you really don’t. When are you gonna do it?

Melina: David, I gotta tell you. It’s the first time ever. Like, old people always say, “Life is short. Life is short.”

David: Yeah.

Melina: For the first time in my life, I actually get that.

David: No. I get it right now. I’m not gonna lie. And that’s why I think it has a lot to do with the loss you experience and, like, you know, the things that you experienced in your life because I totally feel I’m gonna be 50 so soon, like, I know it. I freaking know it. I know how fast 10 years just went. It’s what I’m saying. But it is what it is.

Melina: It is. It absolutely is. And it is. It is. Yeah.

David: Just do everything you can when you can and don’t have any regrets. No regrets.

Melina: Oh, my God. Just do it. I wonder how many slogans we could come up with right now.

David: No regrets with the day. No regrets.

Melina: Just obey. Live, love, laugh.

David: Oh, man. That’s too good. I think it’s awesome that you did this. I’m glad you’re home and safe. If you wanted to encourage people to do the same thing.

Melina: It’s so funny you say that because one of the things I feel called to do that Kim and I believe are doing is I feel called to lead a walk like this for people. The thing about walking is that anybody, pretty much anybody can do it. You know what I mean? If you can walk, you can really push yourself. There’s something beautiful about the journey that happens. And one of the things I’ve been considering Kim and I have been tossing around, is leading people maybe, like, you know, a three-day walk between two missions.

David: Yeah, that’d be rad.

Melina: Right? So, people can say, you know, “I’m in Southern California. So, I’d like to walk from San Diego to San Juan Capistrano.” And you could hit three missions doing that. And you’d probably put… I’m gonna guess. I don’t know for sure, but, like, right around 100 miles. And you could do that. And absolutely. And that’s a huge feat. It will hurt you.

David: Challenge you.

Melina: It’ll challenge you, yeah, but it’ll also be incredibly rewarding. And there’s something to doing it more than one day.

David: Absolutely.

Melina: Right? So, it is like…

David: A hundred 100%.

Melina: Yeah. Kim’s husband said… It was so funny the day he flew in the first day. He flew into Santa Barbara. At the end of the day, he met us actually at the mission there and then we went to the hotel. And we’re checking in and he says and ask the clerk, “Hey, is the gym open?” And the guy goes, “No, it’s closing.” He’s like, “Oh, man.” And Kim goes, “The gym? Aren’t you walking with us tomorrow?” He’s like, “Yeah, we’re walking. So what?” And we start laughing, “Oh, you’re so cute.” Right? So, at the end of that day, it was so funny. We walked, like, probably 16 or 17 miles that day. And then at the end of the day, we went back to the hotel and we were out by the pool because we were… I don’t know. My feet looked like, you know, Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble all together or like a big giant bear claw that you see. You’re just so swollen. And so he was too and we were, like, laying out, we were in the pool. And I said, “So, how are you feeling?” He’s like, “Dude.” He goes, “You know what? I can’t even wrap my mind around.” He goes, “You guys are gonna get up and do this again tomorrow.”

David: Oh, man. Yeah.

Melina: And then the next day, and I was like, “Oh, buddy, this is day…” I don’t know what day it was, maybe 20 something. And he was like, “Yeah. I really can’t wrap my mind around that.” So, there’s something to not just one-day walking, but doing it again, and then again, and then again. So, I think it needs to be a minimum of three days for people to have a walk.

David: Yeah. You have to mentally prepare for that. You’re not… It’s not like… You can get away with just going one day and walking, and then, like, “All right. I’m done with that.”

Melina: Right.

David: But you have to prepare for three days. That’s a different animal. So, I probably agree.

Melina: It is. So, I think that’s something that I’m throwing around.

David: Cool.

Melina: I think if there is… I think people would enjoy it, you know, and I’d like to… I would want you guys to do it. I would wanna do it with my family, you know, people that I love first so that you can experience it and see what happens…

David: I think that it’s right for people… It’s gonna be right for people at that specific time because if you… Yeah, you want me to go because you want me to experience what you experience and that process, but I think somebody has to be ready…

Melina: Right.

David: …and I really want…

Melina: Invited.

David: Yeah, like, really wanna do something like that and be ready to push themselves in that kind of way.

Melina: Yeah.

David: I think it’s really special and it’s really cool. So, you’re gonna do that?

Melina: I think so. You think I should?

David: I think you should do it, whatever you want.

Melina: Obviously. I should know.

David: Well, I think that passing that wisdom that you got from the experience is important.

Melina: You know it’s funny. I closed on three houses when I was walking. I walked a property, like, via FaceTime. Spoon took me into a property and I walked it FaceTime. And then I had her drive the comps. So, I saw him on FaceTime and I was like, “Oh, man. This is super awesome.” I was able to really work the entire time. I Zoomed into… Like, I think I Zoomed into a club meeting once and I Zoomed to RPP.

David: We bought a house in Idaho.

Melina: That’s right. We bought a house and we closed on a house in Idaho. Yeah, we talked. It was perfectly… I was perfectly capable of doing all that. So, yeah.

David: Yeah. I think it’s awesome. I’m proud of you. And I look forward to seeing what is going to come of it.

Melina: Yeah. I’ll be at RPP this weekend, so I’m kind of excited. I guess, you know, when I first got back, I was like, “Oh, shit, everything is still here and you people are here and I’m here and all my feelings are still here. My frigging bed is…” You know what I mean. Everything is still there. And then, you know, over the last couple of weeks because I’ve been home for almost two weeks now, I think, little by little, you know, new inspiration is coming. I’m feeling more and more inspired as I go each day.

David: Yeah. Just your whole everything is better.

Melina: Really?

David: Yeah. Just better. You just don’t seem, like, you’re freaking freaked out and stressed out like you’re at the edge of your wits. That’s how you seem to go for the walkie, like, you needed to go walk. So, definitely, a lot more at peace. It seems like you’re back to a little bit more of yourself just kind of relaxed, like, you’re not antici… Or not anxious. Not as anxious, anticipating something.

Melina: One of the probably best lessons that I got on the walk was to just slow down.

David: Yeah. I get that. I could see that.

Melina: Yeah. I definitely learned to slow down.

David: Yep.

Melina: My mind is like… It’s difficult to shut my mind down. And I know you understand this.

David: Big time.

Melina: And when I don’t respond or maybe react to all the thoughts in my head, you can react one of two ways. You can react… And I know, for me, I react usually one of two ways, which is, A, I get super stressed out and I try to do a whole bunch of different things to react to all the thoughts.

David: That’s what you were doing before you left.

Melina: Yes. But then the second option is numbing it.

David: Yeah.

Melina: Right? Like, those have always been my two options. I’m like, “It’s going too much. I need wine, like, right now.” Do you know what I mean?

David: You did that too.

Melina: Absolutely.

David: That was the first stage.

Melina: Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. And so now I’m more, like, it’s easier for me to… And I think based on the walk a lot of this was that I said these things. I think I said to Kim one day, “You know, what do we really…” Because in the beginning some of the people we were with were super like, “We gotta get here. We gotta get there.” And I was like, “Why are we in such a frigging hurry? What do we have to actually do today except for walk? We just have to walk and then get to our destination. So, who cares?” And we were thankfully, we walked all the way through daylight savings time, so we were leaving early in the morning. So, as we got further in, we had to leave later. Anyway, that was a whole thing. But once I started just kind of putting things like that and just slowing down and breathing and just “Take one more step. Just one more step. Just take this one step. And you know, if you can get to the end of that block right there, just get to the end of the block. And if you need to stop, then just stop.” And there were several days where I did that. I just had to get to the curb and I would just be like, “Hey, I gotta sit for a minute because my feet are throbbing so bad. They’re on fire.”

David: Honestly, what I keep hearing over, it’s just, like, habits and behavior and things that you do, they really take an effect on your mental health and just your overall being as a person, like, how you’re showing up. And it’s, like, anything that you do consistently, you end up acting that way or performing that way or… You know what I mean? I mean, you keep a consistent mindset…keep a consistent negative mindset, you end up negative, like, just negative as hell. Anybody around they’re just like, “Why is that person so negative?”

Melina: Right.

David: And honestly, like, before you left here, we were bickering about stupid shit, you are stressed out. It was just ridiculous, you know, the mindset that you were in. And everybody’s gonna have to go through that at some point and others. I think it has so much to do about, what are you gonna do? How are you gonna deal with it? What are those steps you’re gonna take to deal with wherever you’re at and that season in your life right now? And I think it’s really, really awesome how you dealt with this and where you’re at right now. I think people are gonna be served to hear how it went and what you went through.

Melina: I appreciate that. You’ve never told me that before.

David: There it is.

Melina: Right there for everybody to hear. Yep. About that.

David: Well, anything else you wanna give these friendly people?

Melina: You know, if you have questions, I guess, you know, about the walker, about anything, I’d say hit me up. Ask whatever questions you wanna ask. I’ll probably… I’ll more than likely I’ll post this and then I’ll just, like, to answer any questions. And David has… You have a film of the last day.

David: Yeah. We’re gonna put together a video. I’ve got a bunch of good footage of the last mile of the entire trip.

Melina: And actually the last morning

David: The last morning at the hotel. Yeah. And then, basically, that day into the very last mission, the endpoint.

Melina: Yeah. That was really emotional.

David: Yeah, it was really cool.

Melina: Yeah.

David: Lots of tears and…

Melina: Yeah.

David: It was awesome.

Melina: Super crazy.

David: Yeah, it was really powerful.

Melina: Yeah. And maybe we should have Kim come down for a podcast.

David: Totally. That was the plan. That was the plan. I think it’d be awesome to recap this and…

Melina: I’m gonna be with her next week.

David: Okay.

Melina: We could even do something when we’re gonna be in Palm Springs hanging out. So, we could definitely do something.

David: Let’s do it. All right, guys. Well, that’s gonna be it for today.

Melina: Yeah.

David: As always, if you have any recommendations about podcasts, hit us up on our… Let’s see. It’ll be davi… You could just hit me at davidboswell.nwac@gmail.com. You can check us out in newwealthadvisorsclub.com. Check out our social media and YouTube page. And as always, if you’re interested in becoming a part of the club, then check us out and send us a message and we’d love to meet with you soon. But yeah, I think that’s gonna be it for now, guys. Thanks a lot. Take care.

Melina: Goodbye.

David: Bye.

Melina: I’m Melina Boswell, your host of the Flippin’ Off podcast. I really hope you enjoyed it. If you did, we’d love for you to subscribe. Give us a five-star rating and tell your friends all about us. You can find more episodes of the Flippin’ Off podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever else you like to listen to awesome podcasts like this. If you like what you’ve heard, we’d really appreciate it if you follow us on Facebook and Instagram and tell us the stories that you’d like to hear.

Tim Jackson is our senior producer. Luke Jackson is our editor. Brothers. Josh Mauldin is our producer. Sound design by Frequency Factory. Our executive producer is Mind & Mill. This was all created by Dave Boswell for New Wealth Advisors Club.