Podcast Transcription

Oscar: I still think we should have like an open mic night or something of the sort.

Davey: Let’s do it.

Oscar: I think there’s some talent that we don’t know about.

Davey: Like music, or should it just be like a talent show?

Oscar: Just whatever, yeah. Like a New Wealth Advisor School’s got talent.

Davey: That’d be sick.

Melina: Welcome to “Flippin’ Off,” a purpose-driven podcast about flipping houses and making a difference.

Davey: I’d be damned. I’d be damned. Oscar said we should do a New Wealth Advisor’s Club has got talent.

Oscar: Hey, you know, stranger things happen. A lot of talented people in the club.

Davey: For sure. That’d be super cool. What’s going on, everybody? David Boswell here. We’ve got Oscar Solares today.

Oscar: Hey there, folks.

Davey: Just the boys today.

Oscar: It’s a boys’ day.

Davey: Just a boys’ talk. Yeah, the goal for us is to talk about… Well, actually, we’re going to title it “Opposites Attract.” The idea and the fact that real estate and entrepreneurship brings people together that, I like how you just said, the trajectories would never align or would never intersect if it were not for what we do and how even myself and Oscar are two totally different guys. I mean, we’ve got a lot of similarities for sure, but the way that our brains really work down to the core are totally different. I wouldn’t say we’re totally opposite.

Oscar: No, it’s interesting, right, because we’ve had conversations and I’m like, “Man, I see so much of me in you, right, when I was your age and all that.” So it’s interesting, but then I see so much of me in your brother, right, in Andrew. Right. So it’s like I’m like you guys put together type of thing. So yeah. It’s interesting, and I never would have met you guys obviously had it not been for the club. I never would have met the people that I’ve partnered with inside the club had I not… Because, you know, my background is completely…it’s polar opposite, you know. John’s a soccer coach, man. I was the guy that brought my kids to him type, you know what I mean?

Davey: Absolutely.

Oscar: I would never… I wouldn’t hang out with him.

Davey: No, no.

Oscar: It’s not for any other reason other than, you know, he was hired to do a thing and I participated in that type stuff, so it’s…yeah. But I’ll do business with him all day long because I know him now.

Davey: Yeah. And it’s just cool that, you know, the club provides that opportunity for people to come together with similar mindsets that, you know, that would really never… How else would they? You know, you just wouldn’t. You would know John is the soccer coach and… But it turns out that those are some of the best partnerships.

Oscar: Yeah, yeah, you know. So the thought that comes to mind is you look at our club members, right? We now have 400 or whatever it is now, and there’s so many walks of life, right? We have everything from waiters to doctors and everything in between, attorneys, DAs, we’ve had all walks of life in the club. And we have a common thread, if you will, and that’s real estate, right? And initially, we’ll all agree that it’s real estate and money, that’s kind of the initial thing. And then we start to realize, “Oh, wait a minute, there’s a different connection here,” right?

Davey: Yeah, absolutely.

Oscar: So it’s an interesting dynamic. But again, right, like… an oncologist, what are the odds of me hanging out with an oncologist and having conversations about anything, right?

Davey: Totally. Yeah. Definitely. Christian is somebody for me that I’ve… Like there’s no way we would ever… Like he’s not athletic, he’s not in extreme sports, he doesn’t…

Oscar: You know he was a wide receiver in high school, right, and a corner.

Davey: What like freshman year?

Oscar: No, I’m serious.

Davey: And everybody plays freshmen football or what?

Oscar: Yeah.

Davey: Like really?

Oscar: Yeah.

Davey: I didn’t know that.

Oscar: I had the same reaction, but…

Davey: I want to throw a football to him and see what happens.

Oscar: I think he was a better defender. He was a better DB.

Davey: Yeah, that makes sense. I’m not hating Christian or Amir, you know what I mean?

Oscar: Yeah, yeah.

Davey: We just don’t… Okay. I’m talking about everything except for business, right, without the business mindset and without… Because when it comes to business, we align very closely, we have the same thoughts and ideas. But if it weren’t for this business, there’s no way I would have a conversation with him that would…unless I guess it was centered on business, like we wouldn’t spark up a conversation next to each other at the mechanic shop or something, you know, like he wouldn’t be there. He would probably get his car towed, you know what I mean?

Oscar: Yeah.

Davey: You know what I mean? Just saying like we’re just so different yet I absolutely love working with them. And the truth is, they can handle and do things that my brain doesn’t want to do. And that’s the opposites attract thing.

Oscar: Absolutely.

Davey: For business and for…you know, it’s really about having different strengths, right? And so for me, I was just talking to my wife about this, or I really noticed that as far as parenting goes, and this is most men and women, I think, but as far as parenting goes, I’m more of the rod, you know, and she’s more of the heart, right? I think she’s the love…you know. And I struggle with it when it comes down to, like, things that the kids should do, that they, you know, that they’re supposed to just do and they don’t do it. And it makes me upset and I want to bring the rod out. But, you know, but then she’s got enough of the heart to stop me in, you know, where I need to and make sure that I see it from the right perspective, and that’s parenting and that’s, you know, opposites attract in a relationship, but people think of it that way with their significant other, but I don’t think it’s thought of enough in business.

Oscar: Yeah. You know, earlier on in our marriage, it started out as a joke, right? But the more I said it, the more I started to realize how true a statement it was. Because I used to jokingly say, “Hey, our marriage works because we treat it like a business, you know. We’re like business partners in this.” And she’s got her strengths, I’ve got my strengths, I got my weaknesses. We put it all together, you know, we have to be transparent, we have to be honest, we have to follow the rules, we have to do all those things, right? So as I started to now drift into the business world, I was like, “Holy crap.” That’s, like, really what happens in a marriage. It really is a partnership, right, like truly a partnership, and it has all the qualities and all the necessities of a business partnership as well. Yeah, like you, right, I’m kind of the rod when it comes to the kids, but poor kids, our kids, I feel sorry for them because Rebecca is a bit of a rod too. So it got rough for them, but yeah, I agree with you, man. There is those dynamics that are key, very key.

Davey: Yeah. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes we’re both the rod. We both have to look at each other and go, “Okay.”

Oscar: Who’s going to pull back? It’s the way it works, you know, that’s what it is.

Davey: It’s true. And when it comes to business, just being able to really implement, you know, like I have lots of good ideas, but getting them done and accomplished is more of the struggle for me for whatever reason. It just is what it is, you know, and I think it’s because my brain will keep spitting out ideas. It’ll just like I’m so much in the vision that you gotta remember to stop and implement the vision as well and then pick it back up. And so for me, having the right people around me has been critical, you know, in moving forward and getting things done is constantly being able to look at myself and be like, “Okay, I’m lacking there because I see other people, you know, thriving in that position.” And so it’s just awesome that the club gives the opportunity for so many different people to come under one roof with the same mindset. And seeing, you know, the business, like Patty and Monica.

Oscar: Polar opposites.

Davey: Totally opposite people.

Oscar: Like polar opposites.

Davey: Yeah. You got Monica who is… How would you describe Monica?

Oscar: Straightforward, direct, strict, gonna set the rules, play by those rules, or don’t play with me at all.

Davey: Yeah. Like no room for error outside of the margin.

Oscar: It’s like this is the way it needs to be.

Davey: Yeah. And then Patty, how would you you… So you’ve known both of these…

Oscar: Yeah. Patty is adventurous, out in the open, doesn’t care, usually says things before actually thinking about it, right, it’s just words come out and then… But she’s really good at what she does as well, right, and she’s very personable, you know. She quickly develops rapport with people.

Davey: Absolutely.

Oscar: Just really quickly.

Davey: She has the gift to woo.

Oscar: There’s things… Yeah, she does. What did you say, woo, was again?

Davey: Woo, winning others over.

Oscar: Yeah. So her ability to woo is incredible, right? Because I’ve seen her do it with homeowners at the very first time she ever meets them and just breaks them down, like boom. And then I’ve seen her when she’s on the phone with banks on behalf of owners and her ability to adjust, right? So she can be really nice until you tick her off and then she’s like, man, I am woman, hear me roar, right? It’s like, yeah, she just goes straight for the jugular with people and, and handles it. Not in an evil way, just like, “I gotta get this done for the homeowner.”

Davey: Yeah. Actually, the way Patty operates, sometimes it’s hilarious to me how she is so straightforward and blunt that it’s actually shocking. Like it’s that shocking all factor that she gives people.

Oscar: I think that’s what it is. Yeah, absolutely, I agree with you.

Davey: You are so stunned that you can’t help but respect her.

Oscar: Don’t let your daughter come back to that so we’ll just sit out and talk.

Davey: Yeah. Yep. And I think Monica is the discipline as well in there, you know.

Oscar: And she’s learned to manage, it’s almost like an FBI thing. She’s the handler, right, for Patty. She’s learned how to manage it and pull her back and push her in the right direction when it needs to be and all that stuff.

Davey: Absolutely. And that’s what it takes, two different sides. Like Monica could never be who Patty is and vice versa, there’s just no way.

Oscar: And it’s really…like, when you meet them in person, it’s evident that the only reason they ever met was because they had something in common at the club.

Davey: I should have had them here.

Oscar: Yeah.

Davey: I messed up.

Oscar: No, I think that’s going to be a great one to stand alone because that’s…

Davey: They have a deal, they just…

Oscar: Yeah, they have a deal, they’ve been working, and the dynamics work, and it’s a really good example about this conversation, right? So maybe that’s the followup one, I don’t know.

Davey: Yeah. I think that would be awesome, right?

Oscar: Yeah. They’re fun, they’re fun.

Davey: Yeah. Two totally different people come together to actually accomplish what all of us are trying to do. This is what everybody who comes to the club wants to do is exactly what those two are doing. And had they not come to the club, I think they’d probably both say the same thing.

Oscar: They never would have crossed paths, ever. Absolutely never. It just wasn’t a part of it.

Davey: And one of the coolest things about the club is we kind of force people to like, first of all, in the three-day event, you force people to talk to each other. Not only talk to each other, but get out of your seat and go talk face to face, which, you know, doesn’t happen anymore anywhere.

Oscar: No. And you know, we tell them too, right, there, because everybody, we all carry a facade, you know, a mask and we break through it, you know. You have to break through it because, you know, they’ve heard Adrian talk about things and how it’s mindset and all that and how you show up and all those things, right? That’s what it is. You have to show up a certain way otherwise, you know, the mentality you can’t have because I just got this communication last night, right? They ended a communication with me with, “I am who I am wherever I am always.”

Davey: Say that again.

Oscar: “I am who I am wherever I am always.” Right? And I was like, “Yeah, that doesn’t work,” right? Because who you are in the all the previous communications, that’s probably not good, you know. So we’re going to have to tackle some things and work through things and all that. But, I mean, it’s cool, not that they’re a bad person. It’s just how they see themselves as different, right? Can they have a lot of success? Absolutely. Because very similar to Patty, right, outspoken, carries herself a certain way, good sense of humor, all that stuff, right? So it’s just…you know. And Patty had to go through stuff too. She had to work on things, yeah, like all of us, right, we all have to.

Christian: Hi, this is Christian Rios. As many of you know, I have been a member of New Wealth Advisors Club for over 7 years and got started when I was 17 years old with absolutely no real estate experience. One of the biggest lessons I have learned from being in industry is the need for authentic relationships. If you’re looking for an actual team locally in Southern California, with all the resources needed to close deals, register for one of our free workshops by visiting www.joinnwac.com. Thanks for listening to the Flippin’ Off Podcast.

Oscar: Like all of us, right, we all have to.

Davey: Right. Have you ever seen that movie, “Shallow Hal?”

Oscar: Oh, yeah.

Davey: It’s so funny because imagine if life was actually like that. Imagine if you couldn’t see anybody’s appearance. Like what kind of relationships would you have? Like, you know, who would you have in your life? Like imagine how different that would be. Imagine if you approached every conversation that way. When we say opposites attract, it’s because of whatever that deep-seated thing is that makes people connect, you know. And being at the club and being forced to be in conversation with people that you normally wouldn’t because, you know, you both have the same goal, like some of the most incredible relationships come out of that because they’re not worried about, like, that appearance about somebody who is kind of weird and weird to you that you would never talk to because they talk kind of funny or they talk too loud and you’re quiet and…you know what I mean?

Oscar: Yeah.

Davey: Imagine if everybody had the same tone in voice, imagine if everyone had the same mannerisms, like how different would your conversations be? Like, what if you could relate to people, right?

Oscar: Yeah, yeah. You know what it took me back to is, I don’t know if you’ve seen this video online, but they show these little kids running at each other and they just give themselves this big old hug. And they’re obviously, you know, different backgrounds, different ethnicities, the whole bit, right? But that’s who we are as kids, right? If we could stay in that same, which is what you’re saying, right, is if you could just put everything else aside and it’s just another person in front of you, and able to understand that, man, what a world, what a world. And that’s our bubble. That’s the bubble that we operate in, is that all are welcome, right? It doesn’t matter, race, ethnicity, religious beliefs, disbeliefs, whatever, it doesn’t matter. It has nothing to do with anything other than are you willing to do the right things for the right reasons, right?

Davey: I think we should do, like, I don’t know. It’s another teaching point for people to operate that way, you know, in this business. Because, think about it, whenever you talk to somebody for the first time, we are constant…we’re all judging. Like we’re judging so much. Whenever you have a first conversation, every single question, it’s usually about gauging where they are, where you are, you know what I mean? And I really try to not. When I have conversations, it’s just because I’ve been brought up this way now, but I really try to just have a conversation and hear about people’s story. I just want to hear about what they’ve been through. But so much of the time when I talk to people, I can sense them sizing me up, gauging me, trying to figure out like what…you know what I mean? If I think I’m better or however, but imagine if… Now, I’m still a little boy inside, so have a freaking conversation, that’s how I feel. That’s what I want to say to people sometimes when they’re so blatantly judging me and like what they think I’ve been through, like, “Dude, I’m just a little boy too. We’re little boys.”

Oscar: No, really, he is, you know. And I don’t know if you remember this, but I tell them that Fridays…of the Friday morning of the initial training that they go through for the club members, like, “Look, you’re sitting there sizing me up, and I’m standing here looking at all of you and trying to read you and size you up as well, right, because I need to figure out who’s coming in and what you guys are going to be all about and what do we have to work on, right?” Because they don’t believe it, right? They don’t see it, but you and I see it. We kind of read people pretty well when they walk in through the doors.

Davey: Sense it.

Oscar: Yeah. We sense it, and it’s, you know, there’s that discernment that kicks in and you know who you need to have. And it’s not about, “Oh, you’re a target.” It’s more of, “Hey, let me go serve you,” right, “Let me pour into this person differently than I’m going to pour into the other person because I see something there.”

Davey: Yeah. I think it is so cool to overcome our natural tendencies to want to be like that. And if we could do it to more… Like every time we have an event or new people come into the club, that’s how we try to operate, that’s how we show up, right? And I would just love it if one day, like that was the standard across the world.

Oscar: Yeah. That’d be awesome. Man, it shifts so many things.

Davey: Imagine.

Oscar: Shifts so many things, right? Because, you know, we’ve all grown up in different areas of the world and neighborhoods, and yeah, we see it all. But that’s the cool thing about where we are, right? Our bubble is you walk in and it’s white people walk into the office and you’ll hear them say words like, “This feels different. I don’t know what it is, can’t put my finger on it yet, but there’s something different about you guys. There’s something…” There’s this feeling that people get when they walk in. It’s different, you know.

Davey: Yeah. It’s true. It’s true. It’s authenticity, you know what I mean? It’s people being genuine and you never get that anywhere else, you really don’t.

Oscar: And now, and I guess for everybody listening, don’t confuse that with perfection. There’s a difference between being authentic and aspiring to be perfect because you’re never going to be perfect. We’re all gonna make mistakes. Things happen, you know, all that stuff, right? There’s miscommunications, there’s a lot of things that go into play, but at the end of it all is, was it intended with malice?

Davey: Right.

Oscar: Right? Or was it bad recollection? I don’t know. Whatever that was, right? So, yeah, just know that… I guess the best way I can say it is everybody is welcome. Everybody is welcome.

Davey: Absolutely, that’s 100%. Everybody is welcome at NWAC, but I would encourage people like to really challenge yourself, to have conversations with people where you could treat it like you were in “Shallow Hal,” like you couldn’t see their face or you really aren’t judging where they’ve been, or like find out like what really makes people tick? Like what’s that pain point that people have or, you know, what is the thing that people light up in their eyes when they start talking about it that you may even relate to? I would really challenge people to like step outside yourself and like really, you know, really listen, really listen.

Oscar: Yeah. You know, the other thing that goes hand in hand with that for me is, if you can be open that way and add that you don’t know everything, right, and there’s always something to learn. There’s always something someone’s going to say that you’re just going to…and be open to having the thought process behind and even inquisitive, like, “Hey, why did you say that?” So, you know, with time, we’ve gotten really good at we listen to the words that are said, how the sentences are structured, right, the tone that’s used, all these things because all of that has some sort of meaning. So I always…you know, people that I coach and I encourage them, it’s like, “Look, man, pay close attention,” you know. Your mom, Melina, used to say or has always said, “Listen so hard that it hurts.” And then most people are, you know, like, “What am I listening for? I’m listening, but what exactly am I listening for?” And I tell people it’s like, “Man, you have to listen to all those things I’ve already said, and sometimes you’re listening for the things they’re not saying,” right?

Davey: Absolutely.

Oscar: But you could only do that when you walk in and, like you said, right, it’s like “Shallow Hal,” eyesight “Shallow Hal,” right? It’s like no judgment whatsoever, and then mindset is open enough to know and be just transparent with yourself that you don’t know everything. And if you thought you did, you’re gonna be proven wrong anyways, and then learn from everything.

Davey: Yeah. Like the person you’re speaking to has knowledge that you don’t have because they were somewhere at a time when you weren’t there and they learned from somebody awesome that you didn’t get the chance to. So, like, you really should approach every single person like they have something awesome inside of them that I want to get, like, I want that too. And every single person, if you treat it like that, you know, if you really treat it like you’re trying to gain something from the conversation and gain some knowledge or really find out what makes that person tick, your conversations look entirely different.

Oscar: Yeah. Yeah, you know, recently I had this conversation with some of the younger folks and I posed the question, right, it’s like, “What value are you as a man or a woman bringing to that other man or woman? What value are you bringing?” If you can’t formulate any quick answer to what value you’re bringing, then you need to work on yourself before you even consider, right? It’s similar to the conversations that I’ve had with my kids, right? It’s like, man, you know, you have to look for certain things, but you have to show up a certain way. You have to deliver certain goods. You have to bring value to everything. And that’s how we approach our transactions, right, is what value do I bring to that homeowner? If I bring no value, you need to just sell it. Let’s go, right? But if I’m going to bring value, different, because now I’m going to be compensated for that value.

Davey: Yeah. And then there’s the opposite side of people who are that way, that maybe don’t feel like they have enough value or aren’t willing to share it.

Oscar: Yes.

Davey: It’s the opposite. It’s the total opposite.

Oscar: So how do we work with those folks? How do we get them to shift that?

Davey: I think, for one, it’s edifying. Like if you have people that are maybe a little less spoken or they’re not…a little less in confidence, just edify them, bring them up, and like let them know things that you notice or see, point those things out and let them know how much you appreciate it, and then ask them to expand on it or whatever it is, you know what I mean? Because humility is awesome, but then there’s like people that are just not confident and don’t know what they don’t know or don’t know how great they really are, and so then that’s the whole other side, is bringing that out of them and then getting them out of their shell and, you know, watching them blossom into somebody else and then passing that wisdom on.

Oscar: Yeah. No, I agree with you, man. And, you know, another thing is, as people, it’s real easy for us to identify with a negative, right? “I’m no good at this. I failed at this, I missed this,” right? All that stuff that we face. So when I sit with people and what I ask our senior guys to do and gals to do is really walk through the other person’s journey and identify where they had success, right, and pull that to the forefront because I immediately want them to shift out of that negative side and go into that, “Man, I have done some good things. I have had success.” Because then you can drill into, “Well, how did you have that success? What was that? What was that skill set? What was that mindset?” You know, “How did you contribute? What resources did you use?” All those things.

Davey: Right. Exactly.

Oscar: And now like I’m in a position to say, “See how good you are? You just didn’t realize it because you were so focused on all the other junk.”

Davey: Yup, absolutely. That’s so cool.

Oscar: Right. So yeah, you’re right. But you’ve got to draw it out of people. And I think that’s why… I’m not going to say I think, I believe that’s why we have the success that we have because this entire conversation has been about how do we treat people? How do we do best for them? How do we serve them? And all of that together is what lets people from different walks of life really find each other.

Davey: Absolutely.

Oscar: Right. Because when you’re closed off, you don’t see anything, right?

Davey: Oh, not at all, nope. I have a challenge for everybody. This week at work, or wherever it is, sitting in line at the gas station for coffee or what or Starbucks or wherever it is you go, have a conversation with somebody that you normally wouldn’t, somebody that you would never talk to. Try to have a conversation with them, and a conversation, I think, it has to have some meaning, right? I think like try to have a conversation, spark up a conversation, and find out a couple of points about them and…

Oscar: So not just a, “Hey, how’s it going?”

Davey: No, no, no. Have a conversation with them, but it has to be somebody that you normally wouldn’t. Like it has to be somebody that you wouldn’t…that you don’t just jive with, you know, you don’t do the same things. You don’t dress the same. They could be homeless, you know. Have a conversation with somebody that you normally wouldn’t and spark it up and ask them a question or…you know what I mean? Step outside of your comfort zone and try to have a meaningful conversation with somebody that you never would, and you know you wouldn’t. Every single one of you knows that person that you never would talk to, you know. I think you’ll be surprised to see how rewarding that experience can be.

Oscar: I love that. I love that challenge.

Davey: You’re going to do it too?

Oscar: Yeah. Why not?

Davey: Let’s do it.

Oscar: Yeah.

Davey: So in the next podcast, we’ll come back and we’ll talk about how that went.

Oscar: Yeah. Yeah. It’ll be fun.

Davey: Cool.

Oscar: You know, it reminds me of “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” right, Dale Carnegie, I believe, was the author. Book written in the ’30s, and his whole premise was like, man, you should be able to talk with the janitor just like the CEO.

Davey: Yep. Right.

Oscar: And everybody in between, that’s really the foundation of it. So, yeah, if you haven’t read that book, read that book, get yourself ready, and go accept Dave’s challenge. So I think you’ll be surprised. You’ll be surprised at the growth that you have when you do that.

Davey: Absolutely. Awesome. All right, guys. Well, thanks for joining us. Again, if you have any podcast ideas or topics that you want to hear about, if you want to be on a podcast and share your story, anything like that, any ideas we’d love to hear it all. Email me at davidboswell.nwac@gmail.com. If you’ve never been to the club and you’re curious about what it takes to become a member or to join us, or if you just want to come down and check it out and see what we’re all about, see if we’re really real, you can check us out at newwealthadvisorsclub.com or you can email myself, and, yeah, we will look forward to meeting you and seeing you soon, hopefully, kicking some butt together.

Oscar: Yeah, it’ll be fun. We’ll have fun too. We’ll have a lot of fun.

Davey: Lots of fun, lots of fun.

Oscar: For sure.

Davey: Absolutely. Anyway, guys, thanks for joining us and we’ll see you soon.

Oscar: Take care.

Davey: Later.

Melina: I’m Melina Boswell, your host of the Flippin’ Off Podcast. I really hope you enjoyed it. If you did, we’d love for you to subscribe. Give us a five-star rating and tell your friends all about us. You can find more episodes of the Flippin’ Off Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever else you like to listen to awesome podcasts like this. If you like what you’ve heard, we’d really appreciate it if you’d follow us on Facebook and Instagram and tell us the stories that you’d like to hear.

Tim Jackson is our senior producer, Luke Jackson is our editor. Brothers. Josh Mauldin is our producer. Sound design by Frequency Factory. Our executive producer is Mind & Mill. This was all created by Dave Boswell for New Wealth Advisors Club.