Podcast Transcription

Melina: Welcome to “Flippin’ Off,” a purpose-driven podcast about flipping houses and making a difference.

Dave: All right. Well, here we are back in the studio. Some of us are a few pounds than others after we ate a lot of…

Melina: A few pounds what?

Dave: A few pounds heavier than others.

Melina: Nope.

Oscar: Not Tim. You went to the gym, right?

Melina: Yes, yes. You know what? It’s the best thing.

Tim: Three times a week for the last two weeks.

Dave: Oh, yeah?

Tim: Yeah.

Dave: Nice. With all the turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, pumpkin pie. Mmm.

Melina: Oh my.

Dave: Well, here we are and we’re closing out the year. I mean is this crazy? We’re in the final month of the year. And a couple of weeks ago, we had Marc Weissenberger on here, and we told you that we were gonna be talking about the masterminds. The power of mastermind and our mastermind groups and the development, and all that’s been happening for, what do we say, the last couple of years, Hon?

Melina: Yeah. I believe it was in…well, we’ve always had the idea of personal development and mastermind meetings. It’s definitely grown over the last couple of years, and I believe it was right around two years ago that we made a very definitive shift in the direction and intention of the mastermind groups. And in fact, I believe it was then that we changed to the name to the MMM, or Mastering the Mindset.

Dave: Got it.

Melina: Yeah.

Dave: So that’s obviously…forget my non-introduction. That’s my wife, Melina, here.

Melina: Hey, hey.

Dave: We’ve got Oscar and Tim here with us as well because they ultimately head up a lot of the mastermind groups and been actively involved in them. I think the purpose of this podcast is really to talk about, you know, “What are the MMMs?” Like, really set the expectations for what they are. Because there is a lot of confusion around the club as to, you know, “Should I participate in them? What are they? Well, I went to one and I don’t know.” There is just all these, like, kind of, ambiguous talk about what they are. And if we go back before the MMMs, I think they were born under the idea that, you know, in the past, I had done some personal mentoring with students and taking them through, like, you know, a 12-week process and, like, breaking down, you know, mindsets and challenges and different things.

We had looked forward, you know, several years later in the club. Most of the people that had plugged in and gone through some of those mastermind groups with me, or mentorship with me, they were still club members.

Melina: Yeah. And having success.

Dave: And having success. And so we wanted to…well, I can’t do that all the time. I can’t do it year-round with a group of people. It’s just not possible. This was, kind of, morphed on your idea of like, “What could it look like,” to not only have the monthly meetings where we train people and all that good stuff. But then break down the club in smaller areas, in the local areas where there are real estate investors, you know, actively participating. While these mastermind groups have nothing to do with real estate, they have everything to do with real estate.

Melina: Right.

Dave: Right? So maybe you guys can share and we really wanna make sure that every person inside of our club, both new, and old, and coming ones, like, this is a podcast that’s really going to live forever, where we want people to really listen to this and take to heart why, you know, this is a very important part of your business. If you’re missing it quite frankly, you know, I just don’t know why you call yourself in business.

Melina: Yeah, I agree. Well, I think probably the best way to start it is, you know, I remember…it’s, like I said, it’s morphed as the years have gone by. And Tim and I have always been really probably the most committed, I think, in the beginning to the creation and the evolution of the mastermind meetings. So one of the things, you know, like you said, they’re all over the place in different, you know, local areas. So we try to go into, you know, each person’s backyard. So, the main office is in Riverside so everybody comes to Riverside for the trainings and things like that but we wanted to be able to connect with people in their own backyard.

So we started in San Diego, I guess technically in North County. Because, you know, San Diegans, it’s not the same. But anyway, and then Orange County and then L.A. County. So we have continued to do that, and over the years, as Tim and I, we would usually be traveling together, to go to the different areas, the conversations would come up between the two of us where we would discuss, you know, “What are the expectations and what’s working and what isn’t working?” About two years ago, is when we changed the title, the name of it, to Mastering the Mindset from the Mastermind Meeting.

So I remember Tim was driving and I was sitting in the passenger seat and we were talking, and I actually wrote down in my notes some agreements for MMM participants. And instead of calling them rules because nobody wants to live by rules. Well, maybe that’s just me. But, you know, we created agreements so that each person, as they come in, would be in agreement of what was going to take place during these mastermind meetings. So, the first one was that it’s not real estate training. We really don’t…it’s not a time to come together and discuss real estate training. We have real estate trainings that are scheduled and prepared for and delivered to the entire club as a whole.

So it’s designed to grow our inner personal communication and mindset. So the idea…it was funny, when we were sitting down talking about, “What is the intention or the hope or the purpose of the mastermind,” we actually said, “Should we create a mission statement?” And then we started laughing, remember?

Dave: Right.

Melina: We said, “Oh, well, the mission statement is actually the club mission statement.” Which is, you know, we want to empower people to live out their core purpose. That’s all this is, and this is just a part of that. This is one of the biggest tools for people to be able to create and live into what their core purpose is.

So during our three-day training, right, I always start Sunday morning with this conversation, and in essence, we’ve agreed that the Mastering the Mindset is a continuation, right, of that conversation.

Dave: Yeah. I agree.

Melina: Right? Again, it’s morphed. We had a book that we would follow. The book was “The Laws of Success” by Napoleon Hill. You know, I know that that is one of the most powerful books. The principles in it are so powerful, and so true, and so timeless. Right? Because, I mean, the book was written in the early ’20s by Napoleon Hill.

Dave: Right.

Melina: And those principles still remain completely relevant today, while the language maybe changes a little bit because of the Urban Dictionary. Because now we have an Urban Dictionary, which we didn’t have before, but ultimately all of the concepts are absolutely timeless and perfect. So we had always used that as our guideline to the Mastering the Mindset conversation. I think at this point that’s starting to shift a little bit. We’re still going to use those same principles, but whether or not we’re going to use every chapter in the book is kind of up for grabs. So it’s still gonna be a guideline. Would you guys agree with that?

Oscar: Yep

Tim: Yeah.

Melina: Some guideline.

Dave: The idea was…it was never designed to be a book club.

Melina: No.

Dave: Because I’ve heard people say, “Oh, it’s like a book club.” We’re not reading a book to go through line by line, chapter by chapter in the book and talk about, you know, author insights and these different types of things. It’s more along the lines of, “What are the principles that I can take from this and apply to my own life and in my own business?”

Melina: Exactly.

Dave: Correct?

Melina: That was exactly.

Dave: The idea would be…because we have students join in different times. If it takes you an entire year to get through a book, they can pick up a book at any point and be part of the conversation.

Melina: Exactly.

Dave: That right there is invaluable, right? Because if we ever morph into a book, where we’re gonna actually go through a book, I can just hear plenty of students saying, “Well, I’ll have to catch the next book because, you know, you guys are the middle of the book and I can’t play catch up.”

Melina: Right. That’s not the intention.

Dave: So that’s a myth that’s out there for a lot of people.

Melina: Right.

Dave: You know? So I think that’s really important. I think it was brilliant to come up with that book and each chapter sits alone and I don’t have to go back and play catch up. If I join the club on Thursday and we have a mastermind on Saturday, you know, I can be there.

Melina: That is exactly right.

Dave: Yeah.

Melina: That is exactly right. And you don’t even need to necessarily read the book, right? The book is simply a talking point. It is a subject or a principle that is relevant to everybody’s life and business. That’s what it’s all about.

Dave: Okay.

Melina: So the first agreement was that it’s not real estate investing but it is created to inspire and encourage all of us to live out our core purpose.

The second thing is that it’s a safe place to share, that people are allowed to share anything, whatever they’re experiencing or feeling, but it has to be your own personal experience. So it’s not a place for gossip or anything like that. But everybody agrees that there is no judgment or, you know, for the opinions of anybody else. And anything that is said there stays there, and that’s a very important piece, and I believe that we’ve done a really good job at living that out.

The third thing is that, this is my own, this is definitely my words, but it’s number three, is transparency is the crux of personal growth. We cannot grow if we do not share. So the idea is not to hear, you know, the same three people speaking. The idea is to have every single person share. It doesn’t mean that every person must share, right? Because I don’t want people to feel like, you know, “They’re gonna call me out and I have to talk about where I’m at.”

Dave: Sure.

Melina: That isn’t really the point. The point is that, you know, people who share are the people who grow. There is a facilitator that will…and it’s cool because a facilitator is always one of a club member, it’s a current student. So it’s peer facilitation. So it gives the opportunity for current club members to step into a leadership role. It’s one of the first steps in becoming a leader is facilitating these MMMs. And part of that is to keep control on the crowd, and I think we do a good job of that.

Dave: Interesting.

Melina: Yeah.

Dave: Not to interrupt you, I just remembered, a couple of weeks ago, Oscar, you were talking about the book you were reading and there was three things that took place. There was commitment, right?

Oscar: Commitment, yep.

Dave: Observe.

Oscar: Observant. Yep.

Dave: And then…

Oscar: Prepare.

Dave: Prepare. So, one of the things I have noticed on the outside looking in, right, is very few people commit to these masterminds.

Melina: Absolutely.

Dave: Like, they just kind of hit or miss. It’s like, “I’m not doing anything that night so it’s not a big deal.” So they don’t have the opportunity to do exactly that, commit, observe, because there are also people that if I come, I feel like I have to say something, as opposed to, you know, you have two ears and one mouth so why not just listen? You have the opportunity to listen to people that are doing what it is you wanna do. I mean, the fact that…Tim, have you missed a mastermind meeting yet?

Tim: I think I might have missed one or two.

Dave: One or two ever?

Tim: Yeah. Only because I have been on vacation at the time.

Dave: Yeah, so other than that, he’s there, you know, and, like, that’s a really big deal. You know, it’s a priority. Is there ever times that you don’t wanna go?

Tim: Yeah.

Dave: Yeah. I mean, at the end of the day, they’re at 7:00 at night, and you’re coming from Riverside, you gotta drive out to L.A., or down to San Diego, or Orange County. You’ve had a whole day. You got up at 5:00 in the morning, doing what you’re doing.

Tim: Go to the gym.

Dave: That’s probably not true, but maybe once in a while in there.

Tim: Couldn’t even keep a straight face.

Melina: This is what accountability looks like, people.

Dave: Yeah. Tim committed to go into the gym. So we’re holding him accountable. So with that, the commitment, you know, it’s what I say I’m doing, right, even after the feelings have long since passed and I do it anyways.

Melina: Yep.

Dave: Right? So, I think that’s a really big miss for a lot. At least I hear that. I hear people make so many excuses as to what it looks like to commit. But if they just commit and observe like, “Well, I didn’t do the chapter, or I don’t have anything to add, or I’m not good enough for this, I’m not good,” like, everybody started out that way, you know. Everybody forgets Tim couldn’t talk to a microphone in a room full of his friends and family at one point.

Melina: That’s right. That’s exactly right.

Dave: Here he is on stage writing curriculum, teaching other people, you know, sitting in a podcast, capable of, you know, not only can he talk but he can handle us making fun of them and, you know, he can be the brunt of jokes for weeks.

Melina: Right.

David: Massive growth. It really has and we take it for granted. We forget.

Melina: I agree. You know, it’s funny that you say that, because I don’t know that you know this, but I started with the agreements and I read the first three. There is actually five agreements. Number four, well, I’ll go to number five first because number five is actually, these meetings are crucial to your business. They should be on your calendar ahead of time and you should schedule the rest of your activities around it. It’s not something to attend because you have nothing better to do.

Dave: Yeah.

Melina: Commit to attending.

Dave: Yeah.

Melina: It’s so funny. That’s absolutely number five on the agreement.

Dave: Yeah, yeah. When we handled the schedule a quarter in advance, those are the things that need to be the non-negotiables, you know, unless somebody is being married, graduate from high school, or you’re having a baby, you know, or you’re sick, you know, and you can’t make it. Those things happen. But all the other excuses are just that. And then when you show up, you gotta show up and be present.

Melina: That’s number four.

Dave: You know? I don’t know how many times I’ve watched like…so I don’t participate in the mastermind meetings. That’s for you and for Tim and the other leaders to be able to do. So, for our own purposes for me not to run those meetings if you will, but I get to watch a lot of the videos and a lot of the pictures I see. And there is always somebody in a mastermind meeting on their phone. There is always…

Melina: Bizarre…

Dave: …somebody doing something else. How long do these mastermind meetings last?

Melina: Ninety minutes.

Tim: Roughly.

Dave: Ninety minutes.

Melina: Yep.

Dave: So relative to your life, you know, let’s say you even had to drive there and drive home. Let’s say it’s three hours. What are we talking? Every two to three weeks?

Melina: Yep.

Dave: So 15 times a year?

Melina: Yeah. It’s…yeah. It’s life-giving.

Dave: It blows my mind.

Melina: Yep.

Dave: That blows my mind.

Melina: So that’s actually number four. It says, stay present in the conversation, stay off your phones and other devices. It says one conversation only at a time. Your mind cannot do two things at once. If you’re reading something, you’re not listening to the person sharing.

Dave: You know what I used in my mentorship group is when they walked in the door their phone had to go in the basket on off.

Melina: Yeah. I know.

Dave: Have you guys consider that?

Melina: Of course. Yeah. I consider it all the time, you know.

Dave: I mean, my time has value, and if nobody wants to stop and listen, then I have better things to do.

Melina: I’m in agreement.

Dave: You know, you spend a lot of time, honey, preparing and going to all these different things. Maybe it’s time to up that game a little bit and say, “If you can’t do that, then leave.”

Melina: Don’t bother. Yeah. I think that’s a great idea.

Dave: Yeah.

Melina: I think we just created a new agreement.

Oscar: I agree.

Melina: Do you agree?

Oscar: Mm-hmm.

Melina: Do you agree?

Tim: Totally.

Melina: Yeah.

Dave: I know that John Slater and Celine have, you know, they’ve since moved down south. They went from Rancho down to Menifee. I know John came to us and said, “I really wanna take, you know, ownership of the San Diego group and running and making sure that I’m a 100% committed to the masterminds, and helping them grow, and facilitate people down there. At the end of the day, that’s what we’re looking for. A guy comes and steps up and says, “This is what I like to do. Do I have your blessing to do it?” Then, you know, if he’s gonna take his time to do that and run down there then I think it’s just as valuable. And a guy who’s closed, you know, multiple deals and got out of multiple jobs and here he is several years later, I don’t know, maybe it’s time, 2018, we implement maybe some new standards inside these mastermind meetings.

Melina: I completely agree. I think it’s the most important thing. I feel like…I don’t believe that we can get the urgency across more than anything. You know, if you think about a couple of weeks ago when we had Marc Weissenberger in here, and, you know, spotlighting him as a student and he talked about…he gave such powerful nuggets on how to become a successful business owner and the things that he’s done. If, like, I could only get people to understand that, right? That that is the opportunity that you have.

Dave: I get asked a lot about, “How do I become a coach? How do I become a leader? You know, how do I get into those positions that people have in the club?” Because when I say positions, they’re not paid, they’re not employees, they’re just people that have stepped up and said, this is what I wanna go do. How do I do that? And, you know, I tell people, “I mean, the first thing you gotta do is you’ve gotta show up. You’ve got to be the person that when others talk they go, ‘Man, That guy’s is always here first and he’s always leaving last.'”

Melina: Yep.

Dave: You know, when there is something to get done, gosh, he’s right in the middle of getting it done. It’s not like, “Oh, that needed to be done? Oh, I’m sorry I missed it, I’ll get it next time.” You know, we all know those people, right?

Melina: Sure. Absolutely.

Dave: But they wanna run a business. What they really want is they want the accolades of running a business, they wanna be known as a leader, but they don’t really wanna put in the effort and the work that it really takes, and of course, they love the paydays.

Melina: Of course. Yeah. Because that’s what happens is that with, you know, when you become that leader the opportunity for leverage becomes, like, you can’t even help it. It just automatically happens. And leverage is how you create wealth inside of this business. And if only people could understand the opportunity that’s available to them.

So, you know, the idea of the student becoming the coach is really what created the club. Now we have offered that opportunity to other people for the student to become the coach and then that student to become the coach. What comes with that is responsibility, right? Because you then are accountable to other people. But most importantly you have to be accountable to yourself and the success that you’re looking to have.

Dave: Yeah.

Melina: Right?

Dave: Yeah, you’ve been doing this a few years.

Melina: Yes.

Dave: Yeah, a few years. Everybody hear that? Because I think one of the things, and I’ll just got to be politically incorrect here for a minute, but I’ve heard people say, “Oh, I attended that once and that really wasn’t for me, or that wasn’t what I expected or what have you.”

Melina: Yeah.

Dave: What would you say to those people?

Melina; You don’t wanna know what I would say to them. I don’t think, when you talk about politically correct, you know, yeah. Go ahead, Tim. Go ahead.

Tim: Personally, I wouldn’t address those people, but I would address to everybody else, that for me, the people that really want to grow show up in that room. And when I am in that room with the people that want to grow, they become, like, on my radar as somebody that I want to pour into more because I know that, like, they’re committed.

So I won’t address the guy who says, “That wasn’t for me,” because obviously, you don’t wanna grow your business, and that’s fine by me. I mean, at the end of the day, you’re going where you’re going in your life and I don’t have any idea where that is and it may not be for you. But for the people who want to have success with what we do inside the club, people who want to really grow a business, I think that those of you that show up, and you know who you are if you’re listening to this, you’re the ones who I really want to pour into because you’re committed to your business and I can see it because you drive from L.A. to Oceanside and meet me there.

Melina: Right, agreed. Me, too. I feel the exact same way. One hundred percent of people who actually show up and participate, at some point, that relationship, it becomes…that’s how relationships are built, is by time, right? Relationships are created by spending time together. And what better opportunity is there to get to know somebody than a Mastering the Mindset meeting because that’s where we speak frankly, transparently, and authentically.

Dave: Right. It feels like we’ve kind of drifted a little bit from exactly what is the MMM. But, I mean, it all fits. So, I think that where it hits me is that…what you had just said is that the people that show up, they’re the ones who really want to do the business and I want to pour in. And I totally lost my train of thought, but I think it…I totally lost my train of thought.

Melina: So, Oscar, you and I were speaking earlier about the idea of…because we’ve shifted in our initial three-day training, right, what we call our RPP. We’ve shifted Sunday morning to a conversation called Mastering the Mindset, and we’ve created a, I don’t know, a template if you will, about how to start the conversation. And the conversation is never the same because it’s always about whoever is in the room and where we actually are. And we created a, we call it the emotional wave, if you will, that people experience in life, the life wave and the emotions that go through it, right?

Oscar: Right.

Melina: So we were talking earlier about that conversation continuing.

Oscar: Yeah. So first of all, I’ve become re-engaged or more engaged, I don’t know which way is right, with the MMMs. What became clear to me is this last time that I shared, which I had never done before, to the extent that…

Melina: On a Sunday morning.

Oscar: Yeah, on a Sunday morning. What really kind of triggered for me is that I was kind of pissed off with myself that I hadn’t been participating, not so much because I wasn’t showing up, right, because anybody would just show up, but rather that I wasn’t participating. And who am I to take away that experience from the people that are participating? Who am I to not show up for them, to be able to pour into them based on my life experiences and where I’ve been? Because I am positive that people are dealing with what I’ve dealt with in the past. And they don’t know it because I’m not sharing it.

Melina: Right.

Dave: Right.

Oscar: So the other side of that that became clear is that…and I had the sense of relief once I shared, right?

Melina: It’s so important.

Oscar: Because I kept telling myself, “Oh, it’s behind me, it’s behind,” but it wasn’t until I left it behind that day. So now, it’s like, all right, clear road, move forward. So to me, that’s the big dynamic change.

So it was, you know, we had a meeting about, “Hey, what are we gonna do with these masterminds in 2018? What does that look like?” For me, it’s really clear that the conversation that you start on Sunday mornings at that training needs to be carried forward through the MMMs so that people are clear now. “Oh, that’s what it is.” There is no guessing game anymore. You know, Dave’s point, it’s not a book club.

Melina: No.

Oscar: It’s never gonna be a book club.

Melina: No.

Oscar: It’s about being fully engaged, being present, being focused, and everything we do and say in those meetings directly affects who you’re as a person and who you’re as a real estate investor.

Melina: Amen.

Tim: I think what Oscar…Oscar hit on two things. I think part of it is that we kind of go back and forth between calling it a mastermind and people have an idea of what a mastermind is. I mean, typically a mastermind means there is four of us who are all running our business, who all are successful in certain ways, pouring into each other and masterminding new ideas. To me, that’s what a mastermind is and that’s not what this is.

Dave: This is mastering the mindset.

Tim: This is more mastering the mindset. That’s the reason why we shifted the name, because it was like mastermind doesn’t…I think it confuses people. So that’s why this is called Mastering the Mindset. Then one of the things that Oscar said was, you know, his finally sharing and allowing people to understand where he’s been, it helps. It helps other people. It helps me to really understand Oscar. It helps me to realize that when I’m going through those things that if he shares that he was there and how he got through it, it makes me feel not alone. Like, “There is something wrong with me because I’m struggling with this.”

I think it goes back to what you said about people asking, and I think Dave was mentioning it, people asking, “How do I become a leader inside the club? How do I become a leader?” For me, it’s that…the visual for me is that a leader has to have at least a clear vision of what it looks like moving forward for the people that are following.

If nothing else, the leader can be on the other side of some valley and leading somebody through that valley because I’ve already been there. That, for me, is how the mastermind… I like to show up in the mastermind in one of two places. Either I’m gonna share where I’m at right now and say, “Hey, I’m stuck. Somebody help me through this that I’m stuck in.” Or I’m able to, when somebody else shares where they’re stuck, I can share where I experience something very similar and how I was able to get through it and that you’re not alone, like, everybody goes through this.

Dave: It’s normal.

Tim: And you can come through the other side and on the other side it’s a payday.

Melina: Yeah.

Oscar: You know, just to piggyback off of that real quick, so, because it’s really hard to let go of saying mastermind.

Tim: Right. Did I just say it again?

Oscar: Yeah, a couple of times. It’s not so much about that. But the other thing that we talked about was…is it mastering the mindset or is it mastering your mindset?

Melina: Your mindset.

Tim: Right.

Oscar: Right? Because it’s not about…there is no such thing as the mindset, right, because everybody is different, everybody has their own things they deal with. But if we’re able to master our own mindset and be able to create that clearance and move forward, different ball game, right?

Melina: So I just have to ask this question. I wanna hear from like…I just have this question I wanna pose to each one of you. This is…well, whoever wants to share first. Is it possible to lead when you’re in the valley? So that right there, you know, this is if you wanna get a taste of what the Mastering the Mindset is like, that’s actually the kind of question.

Oscar: Is it possible to lead while you’re in the valley? I think it depends. It’s easy to be there. It’s easy to show up and be in front of people but you have to make a choice to be okay with where you’re at and do the things that are required of you as a leader, versus just being there and just floundering in the mud, if you will, right? Just not going anywhere, not doing anything. You kind of show up. This is from experience, right? You show up, but I refer to it as ghosting around, right? You’re kind of there, but mentally you’re checked out. You go through the steps, you go through the different things, so from that perspective, I think it’s difficult, but it is doable so long as you become self-aware and able to work through it.

But you don’t become self-aware until you’re willing to work through it and be open to share and have the dialogue and create those conversations with others so that, you know, like I said, it was a relief for me to be able to share, right? So cool, I’m good now. It doesn’t mean that I wasn’t moving forward, it’s that I was…I would take three steps forward and five steps back, right? Yeah, the way it worked. So I continue to work, but…

Melina: Do you think that you went…you did that three steps forward and five steps back. Do you think that you experienced those five steps backwards because you were maybe alone? Did you feel alone because you weren’t necessarily sharing? Do you know what I mean?

Oscar: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I’d agree with that. Yeah. The average person isn’t willing to share their personal life with whomever, right?

Melina: Right. Especially when you were in the freaking valley. Who wants to talk about it when you suck?

Oscar: Right.

Dave: And you’re there in the front.

Melina: Yeah. And you’re in the front. That sucks. It’s hard. Yeah.

Oscar: But you… Yeah, in hindsight, I guess that’s really it is being able to reach out. The interesting thing, right, is having filled leadership roles frequently, I’m always telling them, “Hey, don’t suffer in silence. You should reach out, ask for help.”

Melina: Everything you didn’t do.

Oscar: Except when it became about me and it’s like, “Nah, I got this.”

Melina: Yes.

Oscar: Thanks for looking at me but I’m good.

Melina: Yes, yeah. Could you consider that…would you state that if you had been committed to going into the masterminds, the Mastering the Mindset meetings maybe, do you think you would have shared more? Because let’s just be honest, you weren’t committed during that time, right?

Oscar: Yeah, it’s kind of a catch 22, right? So had I participated more in the Mastering the Mindset meetings would I have been more willing to share?

Melina: Maybe not necessarily there. But do you think it would have helped your mindset to get, you know, to where you needed to get to?

Oscar: I think so. And more so, because…

Dave: Sped up the awareness to be.

Melina: Yeah.

Oscar: You become more like the people you’re around, right? So if I decide to go in a shell, well I’m there by myself, or somebody else is in the neighboring shell, we’re not really talking to each other, so life is good. But if I’m willing to step out and listen, observe what other people are doing. Because there is so much you can learn and take away from just being in the room and focused and aware. That will blow your mind, to begin with. So yeah, I think the answer is yes. Absolutely. Like Dave said, it would have sped up the process so that it didn’t last 18 or 24 months. Yeah.

Melina: Very good. Yeah. Tim?

Tim: I’ll answer kind of the same question which is, “Can you lead while you’re in the valley?” For me, I think the answer is absolutely yes. But however, you have to be a big…and that you have to be a big leader to do that. The only way I can say that and, kind of, give you an idea of what I’m thinking is that, I, like Oscar, when I’m going through a valley, I struggle with sharing it but I have no problem telling other people what they need to share.

Melina: Of course.

Tim: And I’ve learned through, like, the MMMs that when somebody else shares that they’re through the valley, usually somebody will share that they’re in a valley, and then maybe somebody like Melina will feed in. I’m able to see in the other person what I can’t see in myself, you know, like, I think it’s biblical or something about, you know, a speck in your eye, something like that.

But I’m able to see in other people what I can’t see in myself and I get stuck there. But when I see the people that I am following, sharing where they’re at in their valley, it kind of gives me freedom, not freedom, it gives me an okay to be stuck where…not to be stuck, but it gives me an okay to be in a valley. Because I put myself in a spot like, “Well, I’m a leader here and I shouldn’t be in a valley, like, what’s wrong with me that I’m stuck here,” whatever that is. And if I stay inside myself, I’ll stay there in something is wrong with me. But then a leader will share that they’re in a valley. Somebody who I look up to shares that they’re in a valley and I am like, “Wow, they’re not, like…they’re going through it, too, and it’s okay, and it’s different.” You know what I mean? They’re going through a valley and it’s like, “It’s okay that I’m going through a valley. It just is that I’m going through a valley. It doesn’t mean that I am not a leader. It doesn’t mean anything other than I’m going through a valley, and I’m going to get through it.” And it takes a leader to do that.

So I look to be able to…I work constantly in the MMMs to look to myself from what valley am I going through, and try my best to share that when I can become self-aware enough to realize that I am in the valley, I wanna share it into that room so that people can see that, “Hey, you’re going through shit, you’re going through stuff, I’m going through stuff.” Sorry.

Melina: It’s okay.

Tim: We’re all going through stuff, all of us, and we will get through this, and together, we can kind of make it through together.

Melina: It’s funny and I appreciate both of your answers. Thank you. Because I know I put you on the spot.

Tim: All right. Thanks to Oscar I had enough time to pick my answer.

Melina: I know. Oscar was like, “I’m sweating now.” I think that one of the things, and it kind of made the point of the entire power of the MMM, and that is this, that is we underestimate the progress and the leaps and bounds we can grow by just simply sharing where we are. There is something unbelievably powerful about sharing authentically and honestly about the struggles that you have. Like, literary, it takes all the power out of the battle when you can just say it out loud. And for whatever reason, you know, most of us are living in a place of self-preservation. We wanna look good or we don’t wanna be, you know, not look good. I don’t know. We talk about, you know, “Is it your need to look good or your need to be good enough?” It’s one or the other. But, you know, that nobody ever wants to actually do that. But it’s so freeing, you actually said it. There is total freedom in it.

Tim: Right.

Melina: That is the power of the MMMs in my opinion. Is that you have a safe place to be completely transparent to work through your caca.

Dave: Yeah. That’s awesome.

Tim: One of the other things is, I’m not sure where I heard it, but I’ve kind of taking it on as truth for me, that the way that I show up in life, like, I show up everywhere in life, like, the way I show up in not doing my business shows up in not going to the gym, let’s say. So what I’m learning is that I might not…there are different areas of my life, personal relationships, love life, business, family relationships with my parents, things like that that sometimes, the relationship with my parents bleeds in, and I’m not looking over there because I’m trying to figure out why the heck is my business not working. But the way that I’m showing up, if I look to my relationship with my parents, I will see where I am not showing up in my business.

Melina: That’s great.

Tim: If that makes sense.

Melina: It’s very insightful.

Dave: Yeah, it’s very good.

Melina: Yeah.

Dave: Well, so we have no more MMMs for the rest of this year.

Melina: Right.

Dave: Right? So we’re dark this month. So I think the…

Tim: I’m sorry. Oscar was dark last month.

Dave: We’re all dark this month.

Melina: Yes.

Oscar: Welcome to the dark month, guys.

Dave: So we’re dark the rest of this month. I think the takeaway, anybody who’s listening to this, I think you need to make it a priority in 2018 that you get the schedule and you mark down the MMMs that you’re committed to being at. And I just wonder what people would look like if they would commit for, say, six months, you know, to staying in the course and going to every single MMM during that six month period of time.

Melina: I can tell you. It would look like this conversation around this table right now.

Dave: Yeah.

Melina: Boom.

Dave: Yeah. So with that, we will catch you guys later. Thank you, guys, for facilitating. Thank you, guys, for being committed to the MMMs and always showing up there, and helping people and being committed to their growth. It’s just evident obviously in Tim and Oscar’s business and your business, Honey. So with that, will call it out, flippin’ out.

Melina: Boswells, flippin off.

Dave: All right. It’s flippin’ lunch now.